Today... I discovered a lot of things. You know, I wanted to become a well known singer, but... It was just a dream. I know how to play a lot of musical instruments and my parents were telling that I was good enough to be on a stage. My friends told me that my voice was incredible, but...
When you find out they were telling those things only because they had pity of you... My heart broke.
You know... I thought I was good to use words and to create a story, but wasn't true. I thought to be engough good to feel the stage under my feet and the crowd screaming to hear another song... Was just a crazy dream.
Sometimes, we need dreams to go further. But when your friends tell you that you are just a shit, you are worthless.
I can't do self harming because I promised to don't do it... But it's hard to let all this pain inside and to never do a thing with it...
All the world want me to do: stay here alive to feel pain again and again.
Even God wants it for me. I believe in God; I don't believe in the Bible and all those crazy things of church.
If I'm getting where I wan'na be, where my passion is truly worthful, one day, it won't be because of the ones I'm supposed to love because I don't feel love anymore. Love hurts and it's all it does.
If I have any friends I know in my outside life, well, go and f**** yourself. I don't give a shit about you no more because you don't even care about me. Why should I still continue to care about you if you think I am just here to be here as usual? Please shot me.
I learned something in the last months... The world will never change for you, so you have to change for yourself.
The most important person in my life, it is me. Not the people hanging around! Maybe it sounds self fish, but I don't care. I used to believe in things which were not believing in me.
Now, I believe in hate and it won't believe in me because it believes in nothing. Happy ending!